I lost 100+ pounds and gained it all back.

There,  I said it.  It is shameful.  But I know I’m not alone.  Apparently it is nearly impossible to lose a large amount of weight and keep it off.  I believe that is because we are such a short-term-solution focused nation.  In other words, I blame the cult of the diet.

When I was 20, I was in a relationship that was taking me nowhere and I was very unhappy.  I don’t know if I never knew my highest weight or if I erased that information from my memory.  But I was a size 22/24 so I can deduce that I was about 300 pounds.

One day, I decided I would lose the weight and I also decided to dump the boyfriend.  This is how I tend to make decisions- snap!

I dieted and walked my weight away.  It was very unhealthy.  I worked at a store with a group of other overweight women and we were very bad influences on each other.  I subsisted on coffee and tea and one small meal a day for at least a year.  I also drank a lot of alcohol.  Needless to say, I don’t remember it very clearly.  I lost a lot of weight.

Then I joined a gym.  This was the first time I had gotten on a scale.  It said 209 pounds.  I could not believe it.  All that and I STILL weighed over 200 pounds.  I was a size 14.  Having never known my highest weight, I did not know how many pounds I had lost, but there it was: not enough.  So I added furiously exercising to my routine.  And I quit drinking.  And I joined a kick-boxing gym and started circuit training.  I got down to a size 10, the smallest I have ever been.  I weighed 165.  Finally.  I was out of the “overweight” range on the charts.  I was normal.

______________

At some point, I lost interest in dieting and started eating a lot more.  That helped me exercise more.  At some point I started drinking.  Heavily.  I was working in a bar now.  I was meeting a lot of men.  I was getting hit on.  It was so strange and awesome.  I lost interest in exercise soon after that.

I gained a little weight back and I didn’t really care.  I felt pretty good.

______________

I’m not sure what it was, but something emotional happened.  Something devastating.  Probably involving some boy.  I do remember, very clearly, buying a bag of Kettle Cooked Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips.  A large bag, not a snack-size one.  I remember going home, laying down on the couch in the dark in front of the tv and eating the entire bag.  Have you ever eaten a whole bag of potato chips?  You don’t enjoy it.  It is disgusting.

When I finished the whole bag, I felt ill.  I was tempted to go throw-up and undo this horrible thing.  But I did not.  I layed on the couch and watched TV in the dark.  I continued to do this for some time daily.

I guess “Emotional Eater” is the term for this.

______________

But I did not gain ALL the weight back.  I was kind of poor so I walked everywhere and  couldn’t afford mass quantities of food.  By the time I was 29 I was around 240 pounds, I would guess.

Then, I moved.  I got a REAL job at a DESK.  I had graduated from school.  I bought a car.  I didn’t walk any more I had a lot more money.  By the time I was 31, I was 287 pounds.  My highest known weight.

That was one year ago this month, January 2009.

7 thoughts on “I lost 100+ pounds and gained it all back.

  1. Pingback: Body Image by Number: The BMI Myth « This is Not a Diet

  2. I too had lost 100 pounds. That was in 2008. I lost it in 8 months by counting calories. I lost my first 60 without any type of exercise, the only exercise I got was from work, a full time cashier. Then I joined the gym and lost the other 40. I’m 6 feet tall and went from 335 to 235. Size 4x shirts to size large and extra large. Size 54 inch pants or more to to size 42 inch pants. So clearly, I was still overweight, but I didn’t look humongous. I was thick, but I was flat. I could fit into rides, I never got kicked off anymore due to not being able to fit the safety constraints. My self esteem had got so much better, I went from being shy to being very talkative and made lots of friends. I lost interest in dieting and in 1 year, I had shot back up to 280. Then I slowly worked my way up to 315. I’ve tried dieting the same way I did when I lost the 100 pounds. It’s just not working out like it did before.

    Have you tried losing it again, and how has that worked out for you?

    Oh and yes, in times of depression, I’ve ate a whole bag of family size potato chips and dip.

  3. Okay. I see you had already answered my question in your other posts. I hadn’t noticed them until after I submitted my comment and looked again.

    • Hi Shasta, thanks for your comments. 100 pounds in 8 months is a lot! It took me twice as long. Did you really restrict yourself counting calories? I’ve been around a bunch of big losers online (100+) and one thing I’ve noticed is that the people who are the most restrictive gain it back the fastest. They never learn moderation and as soon as the “diet” is over, they are really hungry! Then they eat too much… and we know what happens then. I think that in the end, the body wins. If you make it way too hungry for too long, eventually, you’ll give in and eat. I know that’s how I gained a lot of the weight. I would skip breakfast and lunch and then binge like a mad person all evening long. Eating breakfast is one of the biggest keys for me. Well, hope you have luck with whatevery you plan to try next! If you need advice, I’m happy to share what worked for me -Kate

  4. Pingback: I lost 100+ pounds, gained it all back, lost it again, and I will never gain it back. « This is Not a Diet

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